delicious digestive health

Of all things, Kraft apparently has a new healthy cheese out. You mean, Kraft makes cheese?
I was fascinated by the fact that Kraft was promoting something supposedly healthy, and possibly cheese. I went to a Google link to Kraft.com to try to find out more about Kraft making supposedly real cheese, possibly in stick form.

Instead of Kraft, I ended up at a website called qualityhealth.com (your healthy lifestyle resource). I was being encouraged to sign up for healthy samples. There were some product names off to the side and Kraft was one of them, but I definitely was not at Kraft.com. And I'm not sure what this site had to do with health either. It was becoming more unlikely in my mind that Kraft had made cheese, and even more unbelievable that it would be healthy. I think this was all a clever way to associate Kraft products with health.
I continue to look for reasons why Kraft and healthy food should be considered as one. I clicked on "home" and wondered if it would take me to Kraft, it did not, but I did find a survey as to whether I was emotionally intelligent, articles on things like mustard health benefits, and a lot of ads for prescription drugs. Well, I suppose Kraft might have something to do with prescription drug companies. Perhaps they were drugging the cheese with anti depressants?
I went to kraftfoods.com, which was the right place to go, as a giant football shaped cheese log was the main graphic on the page, in all it's cheese product glory. But they did have several health related pages, including their South Beach diet products (they claim- Our food tastes so good you’ll wonder what it was you were doing before you started living), and lots of sweets that are sugar free. By the way Splenda users, do you know how BAD that stuff is for your pancreas? Just you wait. You can't fake it hon, ya can't. Speaking of fake, where's that cheese they keep pushing in the commercials, with happy looking women in it? Who eats straight cheese anyway? Where's the damn cracker!

Finally I found it-" LiveActive Natural Cheese snacks combine the great taste of Kraft cheese with probiotics – live natural cultures that help regulate your digestive health in 2 weeks."
The great taste of Kraft CHEESE with probiotics (yes the stuff in yogurt). But they are natural cheese snacks, how can they then taste like Kraft "cheese"? Plus, if you can just scarf straight cheese, it's no wonder you have some digestive health problems!

The liveactivefoods page invited me to "join the movement." Ha ha. They, like Dannon, claim they can make you more regular in like, 2 weeks. They say the cheese sticks or cubes are made the same way that regular Kraft Cheese Snacks are made....so can they really claim it's natural cheese?

I took the "gut check" they offered and I was told I was "doing a great job with my daily relaxation". A great job with my daily relaxation?!?!? I'm a borderline insomniac you False Cheese Barons! What does my daily relaxation have to do with my bowels? I was also told that I should drink 9-13 glasses of liquid a day. Geez! They said take something called "prebiotics". I've worked in the health foods fields and I have never heard of "prebiotics." Hunh? Some people just call that eating healthy.

I have to say, I had no idea so many people apparently suffer from digestive problems that more than one company seems to be marketing the fight for good digestion. Is it maybe because they made the products that made people suffer bad digestion in the first place?!?!? Don't think I wax too much on the subject, you'll understand how much this is a foreboding circumstance when you can't buy butter or frosting anymore, and you have to buy black market cake to get real sugar and fat and chocolate. Don't laugh now when someday you can't have your damn real cookie. My cousin used to make the best chocolate chip cookies ever. Now he puts Splenda or some fake crap in them and everyone who eats them has the shits all Xmas and they don't know why. But I do!

I looked up the cheese. Interestingly, I was not able to look up the nutritional information on the individual flavors, just a generic listing. And that had 11% of your daily requirement for sodium in 7 chunks of cheese, as well as 20% of saturated fat. Give me some cheese flavored chips instead, something to chew on! And why is it marketed towards women specifically? Aren't men the ones always farting?
I looked, but I couldn't get an ingedients listing at all, which means to me, it just must not be real cheese. This is not a real marketing campaign. This is just a bunch of crap to help you crap. Go eat some damn yogurt if you want culture, and have some whole grain bread for cryin' out loud!
I wonder how many people who are healthy will just eat it and shit all over themselves thinking that's how it's supposed to be. DON'T BELIEVE THE FALSE CHEESE BARONS!!!!!
Just keep in mind that these are the recipes the Kraft site is currently hilighting on their main page, and then think about them promoting healthy "natural" cheese. Whatever.
*Bacon Cheeseburger Roll-Up *Chicken Wing Basics *Cheese 'n Ham Spirals
Boy, it really sounds like they are interested in my health!

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